The 101s' 2025–2026
Relationship
Dojo
The connection practice space
Application deadline: Nov. 10th '25.
Taking new subscriptions for joining in late January!
Make this wild and precious journey worth it 👆️
You and us, my friend, we are all lifelong relationauts 🧑🚀 i.e., we relate to others. Ain't no escaping that. So, we might as well make it fun, no? And wholesome ✨ i meaningful ✨ i deep ✨ i intentional ✨ i just epic?! 🤯😍 Hell yeah! See you in the dojo 😉Now feel check out this ⬇️ little poem (oh, yes!) that can help you see if the dojo is for you
Is this thing for me? —— Poetic answer, be warned 😃
Maybe: ifyou know, deep down, that
connection, the thread that holds things together, that holds you together...
expands over bountiful continents of relating
that you have yet to visit
that you could visit. maybe even stay there for good?
If only...
you woke up one day knowing how to request — and receive! — your heart's yearning,
how to gracefully elude that which does not serve,
including those patterns of old...
Sometimes it's tempting to think
things cannot improve. Or, worse,
that something else, someone else
will do it for you.
But the rooted joy you bravely glean from connection
is strong enough
that you are ready to commit:
to yourself
to connection
to growth through and towards relationships.
Pray, What is This?
'Tis a mastermind, squire. To say the very least! It's an ongoing collective journey through the vast relational universe, where guided, moderated workshops and discussion groups prepare us for the fulfilling, authentic, and intentional connections we yearn for: friendships, romantic, life partnerships, familial and way beyond. 'Tis where you get the courage and tools to truly aim for your relational utopia.
[Online; English-language; romantic relationships not required]
What Others Say
"I really liked the way it felt both held and free, meaning there was structure, but it wasn't constrained. I felt included, engaged, and respected as a participant. Like it wasn't telling how to, and that we got back to the body. Also want more!"
🌸 B🌸 Participant 🌸"It's the best way to feel part of a community and not feel alone, confront opinions and see different point of views. It gives the chance to meet amazing people, make new friends. And it's a way to get to know other people's experiences and feel less like an alien. Personally, a way to push me to become more responsible."
🌸 Diana🌸 Participant 🌸We Doth CHANGE
The Dojo is where you can't help but make real change: together, we discover what’s between us and the connections we crave — and then transform it through group support, shared stories, advanced tools* and the decades of rich relationship experience that the dojo and the 101s bring to the table.
* premortem, generative conflicts, pods, etc.
No commitment implied. You'll get more information by email.
So, What happens in the dojo?
Monthly Workshops
The videoconferences where we all explore, reflect and practice different aspects of relating (see below for examples).
Peer Support Subgroup of 3–4 Peers
Receive support and accompaniment; discuss the dilemmas, learnings, and explorations in your daily life.
Spotlight Sessions
This is where we take turns being "under the spotlight" to share our relational challenges and ask for support from the group. The "mastermind" part of the dojo.
FREE Blabla kit!
The 101s kit for improving difficult conversations will be yours.
Materials
Theory and exercises in PDF, video and text format.
Discussion Group
Where we discuss and deepen the exploration of the topics asynchronously. Participate based on your availability and curiosity.
2 FREE Coaching Sessions
Leapfrog in your relational work with coaching sessions from 101s-endorsed relationship coaches, including the 101s themselves.
Life-changing insights
Transformative insights into personal and relational dynamics, boundaries, communication, and self-responsibility.
A new universe of possibilities
From pods to support groups, check-ins (e.g., RADARs), rituals, new forms of kinship and much more.
And No Exams!
Except for life itself. Just saying...
Calendar
Exploration sessions
The monthly sessions for concepts and exercises are on the fourth Tuesday of the month, from 19:00 to 21:30 C.E.T.
Exceptions in italic!
📅 Tuesday, the 28th of October '25 ⬅️ Start date
📅 Tuesday, the 25th of November '25
📅 Tuesday, the 30th of December '25
📅 Tuesday, the 27th of January '26
📅 Tuesday, the 24th of February '26
📅 Tuesday, the 24th of March '26
📅 Tuesday, the 28th of April '26
📅 Tuesday, the 26th of May '26
📅 Tuesday, the 23rd of June '26
📅 Tuesday, the 28th of July '26
📅 Tuesday, the 22nd of September '26
📅 Tuesday, the 27th of October '26
📅 etc.
Spotlight sessions
The 2h monthly "spotlight" (mastermind, or mutual support) sessions are on the alternating Tuesday (19:00 C.E.T.) and Sundays (17:00 C.E.T.) Exceptions in italic!
📅 Sunday, the 14th of December '25
📅 Tuesday, the 13th of January '26
📅 Sunday, the 8th of February '26
📅 Tuesday, the 10th of March '26
📅 Sunday, the 12th of April '26
📅 Tuesday, the 12th of May '26
📅 Sunday, the 14th of June '26
📅 Tuesday, the 14th of July '26
📅 Tuesday, the 8th of September '26
📅 Sunday, the 11th of October '26
📅 Tuesday, the 10th of November '26
📅 Sunday, the 13th of December '26
📅 etc.
Beyond 2026, the dojo continues, and you can, too. In the 2026–2027 course, the materials will keep evolving and deepening.
Dates don't work for you?
New members can join four times a year.
Content
Each month, we deep-dive into a topic. Through guided exercises, reflection, and group discussions, we’ll shine light on unconscious patterns, build healthier relational habits, and learn to stay connected — both to ourselves and others.
Here’s a glimpse of exploration journeys we have in store for the dojo:
- Relational utopia: expanding our relational imagination and defining our relational values
- What's challenging in relationships and why: conflict, cynicism, complaining, etc.
- Red flags, green flags, standards and minimums
- Patterns & archetypes: the roles we play
- Attachment styles: understanding relational needs and patterns
- Conflict and difficult conversations: whatever comes your way, you can surf it
- Humour, joy, pleasure: how to fly high
And we’ll celebrate wins, support each other through challenges, and share silly memes along the way 😝
PLANS
Comfortable financially
€40 . 00
/month
- no debt
- average/high income
- savings or family support
Financially average
€25 . 00
/month
- low debt
- low income
- some savings, family support
Financially stressed
€10 . 00
/month
- substantial debt
- low income
- no savings or family support
eArly Bird!
Keeping in mind that the contributions are already ability-based:
EARLY-BIRD DISCOUNT: Apply by the 31st of September, and one month will be discounted if you pay the entire year at once!
F.A.Q.
Who is this for?
The 101s Relationship Dojo is for people who are willing to look inward and get curious about how they relate. Maybe you’ve noticed recurring patterns in your connections—like pulling away, over-giving, or losing yourself in someone else—and you’re ready to understand these patterns more deeply, in order to finally transform them. Or maybe you’re in a relationship that’s important to you, and you want tools to meet conflict with care and stay connected through change.This space is for you if...
♦️ You want to learn and grow through the inevitable relationship challenges
♦️ You’re open to sharing from your own experience and listening to others with respect
♦️ You’re seeking support, tools, and perspective — not just validation
♦️ You understand that struggle is real, but you’re not here to stay stuck in it
♦️ You’re committed to the path you’re on (or willing to explore it deeply)
This space might not be for you (at this point in time) if...
🔶 You mostly need to vent or process pain without moving toward change
🔶 You’re feeling overwhelmed and not at all resourced to hold others as they hold you
🔶 You’re not open to feedback, new perspectives, or being challenged with care and kindness
And that’s okay. Sometimes what we need is a Compassion Circle instead — a separate, held space where we can fall apart, be witnessed, held, without the need to “get better”. The dojo is here for when you're ready to come back to practice.
So, if you’re someone who values personal growth, emotional integrity, and wants to bring more awareness into how you relate — with friends, lovers, family, or community — this space is for you. We’re not here to be perfect; we’re here to practice. What matters is your willingness to explore, reflect, and be real with yourself and others. What matters is a desire to be intentional in your relationships. We bring the rest.
Do I need to have a romantic partner to join?
Not at all, you don’t need to be in a romantic partnership to join. When we say "relationships", we mean it expansively: from (a)romantic to friendship to intimate in all dimensions, to familial, communitarian, or whatever label you use for those who matter in your life. What binds all these together is a desire to connect, care and enjoy.Will we have homework?
No. All the worksheets and materials that we share with you are totally optional.I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up / there will be too much information
We've designed the dojo for deep integration and change, not as a race. For instance, you will be able to process and implement the month's insights with your peer-support group. We will have regular check-ins with everyone in the dojo, to see what you need to make it the richest experience possible.What are your theoretical foundations?
Our approach is grounded in three key foundations:1️⃣ Academic and evidence-based frameworks
We draw on established research, including:
▪️ The Gottman Institute’s work on relational dynamics
▪️ Brené Brown’s research on vulnerability and courage
▪️ Jungian psychology, especially archetype and shadow work, which help us understand deeper inner patterns.
▪️ The Myth of Normal, by Gabor Mate.
2️⃣ Influential contemporary literature on relationships and communication
We’re inspired by works like How We Show Up by Mia Birdsong, Polysecure i Polywise by Jessica Fern, Relationship Anarchy by Juan Carlos Pérez Cortés, Why Love Hurts by Eva Illouz, The Will to Change by bell hooks, How Emotions are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett, Disrupting the Bystander by A.V. Flox, or Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone et al., among others. These books help shape our understanding of emotional regulation, attachment, community care, and relational honesty.
3️⃣ Lived experience and community wisdom
We bring over thirty years of combined personal experience navigating non-monogamous relationships in their many diverse forms. We’re also rooted in global communities of practice around events — participating in (and also facilitating) events, sharing space, and learning from the stories, breakthroughs, and struggles of hundreds of others on similar paths. Other universes we draw inspiration from: Buddhist thought and practice, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and anticolonial literature.
How does the sign-up process work?
1️⃣ You show interest in the dojo using the form below.2️⃣ To help create a safer, more intentional space, we ask each participant to join a short video call with one of us before entering the Dojo. This is not a test, but more of a check-in to ensure alignment, clarify expectations, and make sure the container feels good for everyone involved.
3️⃣ You make a downpayment of the first three month of your chosen dojo contribution to reserve your place. This will be returned to you (minus transaction fees) if the dojo does not take place.
4️⃣ Close to the dojo start date, we add you to a group, with the other members, and schedule a welcome call.
Is there a minimum duration?
Yes, the minimum duration you can pay in advance is three months. I.e., if you want to test out the dojo, you can do so for a minimum of three months.How much does it cost to run the dojo?
As an exercise in transparency: we calculate that the actual cost of running this dojo for us is between €10,000 and €12,000 annually. This includes our research and preparation time, candidate interviews, moderation, the group sessions, the potential costs of the space, the coaching sessions, etc.:Why is your pricing complicated?
We believe that the amount of money that people have says much more about our society (which, in this respect and many others, we see as unequal and unjust) than it does about them. As such, we want to allow as many people to participate, regardless of their financial situation, and fairly. For now, our approach is to ask people to contribute resources that reflect both what they have and what they feel our offering is worth.If you have other ideas on how we might balance these values, we'd love to hear about them.
Can you give me some idea of the tools we'll be exploring?
We sure can:🟢 Premortem
🟢 Blame vs. contribution
🟢 The ten thinking hats (adapted by 101s from The Six Thinking Hats)
🟢 Intention setting
🟢 The 101s BlaBla Kit for Better Conversations
🟢 Community spotlights for relationship challenges
🟢 Pods (support, accountability, etc.)
🟢 Relationship intimacy questions
🟢 Check-ins (e.g., RADAR)
🟢 Rituals
🟢 Difficult Conversations tools
🟢 Kanban for relationships
🟢 The relationship smorgasbord
🟢 Dragon dreaming for relationships
These be our Values
Our values are why we’re doing this. We are not assuming that anyone, including ourselves, can ever embody them fully — but we come back to them, again and again:
Inclusivity, feminism (sex-work-affirming, anti-punitivist, trans-inclusive, queer, sex-positive), accountability, anti-capitalism, decolonialism, anti-classism, disruption of oppressive hegemonic values (such as monogamy), and finding our liberated selves in community. Discover all our values in this document.
Art Thou Ready?
Be this the year thou shalt find joy and closeness in thy bonds? The year you start casting away, once and for all, patterns that no longer aid you and the people thou holdest dear?
Who Are The 101s?
We — Tiffany and Lito — are long-time collaborators, facilitators and organisers. We are deeply curious about what makes relationships work and what helps people grow over time. We’re not here to give answers, but to hold space for the real, often messy, always powerful process of personal and relational revelation and transformation. Together, we create structured, reflective and sometimes magical spaces that allow individuals and groups to explore, feel, learn, and shift.
Our facilitation is grounded in years of studying communication, relationships, and conscious living. Between us, we’ve organised, led, facilitated, and
moderated debates, book clubs, team processes, dojos, support groups, workshops, activism parties, and trainings. We're on what we hope is a never-ending journey of learning the skills for difficult
conversations — our ongoing, perennial focus. Finally, we’re walking our own messy, tender paths of growth — both separately and in various relationship styles.
Experts
'tis good to know that the 101s, apart from organising and facilitating the space, shall be learning and exploring with thee. Even though we have years pondering deeply o'er these matters, we don’t pretend to be experts. In fact, we don't pretend to be anything. Only pretty. Exceptionally pretty.
A Note for Feminist Men*
How are you, *person socialised as a man? But, more importantly, where are you? We wonder how surprised you are if we tell you that, again and again, the people interested in working on their relationship skills, communication, awareness of how trauma impacts us and others, and so on, are by and large women. Which is ironic, because the people that need it the most, if we are to work towards a more just world, are us, men!
So, especially if you think feminism is the way forward, here’s a serious question: what are you going to do to help rebalance this equation? Join the dojo? Send this link to your male friends? Organise some events yourself on these topics?
Whatever it is, let’s go! Let’s make the steps right now towards the kinds of societies we yearn for.
i be ready for
RELATIONAL JOY!
We give ye thanks.
We shalt reach thee soon!
We will get in touch with you with more information, and to schedule a call.
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